wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My pussy is not your playground.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
