dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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