we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
