she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
