Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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