I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
