also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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