i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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