So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
