i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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