Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
A bitchslap is in order.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
