We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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