got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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