They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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