i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
