She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
