Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
