i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
