Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
