Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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