So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
