Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
