He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
