So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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