I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
