I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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