he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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