So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Is it penis luge time yet?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
