my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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