I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
