I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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