If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
