he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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