"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
