Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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