There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
