shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
