The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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