I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
