Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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