How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
