Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
