i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
North Korea, Best Korea!
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
