that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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