Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize