dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
