Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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