I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
