Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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