My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
How external is "for external use only"?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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