Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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