you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i now understand why vodka
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
