Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
