Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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