There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
