he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
