how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
