your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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