Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
