using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
