I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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