I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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